Thursday, December 29, 2011

John's Thoughts, 12/29/11

It has been 24 days since we learned Sarah had a brain tumor, 16 since it was removed and six since we left the hospital to return home. Sarah is doing well. Our mental and emotional processing continues.

On the morning of Tuesday, December 13, the day of Sarah's brain surgery, I was numb. I wasn't mad at anyone or anything - I was just trying to get by. I was trying to be brave. For Sarah. For myself. For our boys. For whoever needed it.

That was one of the hardest days of my life. Actually, the hardest. Other than the day we learned of the brain tumor, the day it was being dealt with is it.

Now I sit in our living room and talk with Sarah. We watch (partial) movies. We laugh. I tell her bits and pieces about the things she missed, and we both are continually amazed at how people love us.

"It is in the shelter of each other that the people live."

This is an old Irish proverb brought to my attention by the ridiculously-talented, extremely smart and abundantly compassionate band, Jars of Clay.

The response to our little situation continues to blow me away. A very difficult circumstance has been turned into a beautiful thing because of you. If you're reading this, you have some level of care for what is going on in our world, therefore, I'm including you.

I am glad I do not have to imagine going through this alone, and I am simultaneously heartbroken for those that do.

Please do all you can to love those closest to you more.

For whatever reason, our family has added the removal of a brain tumor to our resume. Though I do not appreciate its happening, I accept it, and will live with the following lyrics in mind, from Jars of Clay's song, "Run In The Night."

For I am such a man

Seized by the power of a great affection

No matter where I am

Peace spreads below me in every direction

When evil sets the war upon me

I won't stumble, I won't fall

Though they do their worst

Your love has found me first

For by you, I can run in the night

3 comments:

Sarah said...

John- I've been thinking about you and your family through this holiday season. Thank you for sharing with us all your great strength and the great love of your family. Wishing only the best for you in the new year.

Marcie Trivette said...

I am now listening to a bunch of Jars of Clay :) Thanks! You guys are awesome and I just love seeing you both pull through this together. You'll both continue to be in my prayers.

Valerie Heinze said...

I learned about your situation through the Love of Laurel Kittelson. Ron and I serve the "barrista bar" at Crosspoint once a month. At the bar, there are many people that come through with various personal needs and we usually stop and pray for them when prompted. When we found this out we wanted to get involved by simply praying for you and your family. If there is any thing we can do, please let us know. Love, Valerie Heinze

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