It's because I know this is what we are supposed to do. I don't know how, when or where, but I know it is going to happen.
And it is crazy.
But not half as crazy as grace. Not half as crazy as the redemption my life has undergone. Not nearly as crazy as the gorgeous and wonderful bride, and precious son, that Jesus has blessed me with.
How could I not be led to adopt? How could I not want to give of myself to love an orphan; someone that otherwise may never understand undeserving love, grace and redemption. Someone that may never have the loving arms of an earthly mom and dad to protect them, keep them warm and guide them through everything that doesn't make any sense.
Harvey was no accident. Surprise? Yes. But, no accident. He is a gift. A gift that has only made our hearts bigger, drawn us closer and reminded us of just how helpless we really are.
After hearing stories this weekend of little children arriving to their next foster home with all of their belongings in a single trash bag, I am convinced. Convinced that our family is growing. Convinced that God is only going to expand his love in our hearts to be mom and dad to another precious little creation.
Who knows when. And that makes me smile.
If I've learned anything over the past five years, it's that I can make all of the plans I want, but there's always a bigger, much more thought-out, much more meaningful, much more perfect plan, already in motion.
One of my favorite songs in the world is a song by the band Leeland, called "Carried To The Table." It's about Mephibosheth, a handicap man, documented in 2 Samuel of the Bible. Due to his handicap, he wasn't supposed to be at the King's table. But, as an amazing picture of grace, he was brought (anyway) to a place where he didn't belong.
I am convinced that I don't deserve anything of what I have, on any level. Because of that, it is with all of the joy my heart can muster, that I look forward to the day when my Jesus physically connects me with one of his beloved little children - to love, care for, guide, protect, encourage and teach.
And I'm thankful to have an indescribably beautiful (in all ways) bride to go through it all with.