Balance

It's been quite awhile since I've updated this. I am going to try to at least post photos on here more often (I know that's why most of you come here. Reading is so lame!). While the kiddos nap during the day, I find myself looking around at other people's blogs. Mostly photography blogs, but sometimes I will come across someone's personal family blog. And for whatever reason, I keep coming across a theme: cherish your children, spend as much time with your family as possible, realize what's most important here and now, because you never know when it's all over. One story in particular that has daily challeneged the way I live my life is Layla Grace's story (side note: if Harvey has been a girl, this is what we would have named her. Very interesting considering the impact she's had on my life). She was a 2 year old who was diagnosed with a very aggresive form of cancer, and she went to Heaven just a couple weeks ago. Here is an excerpt from an entry that has rocked my world:


Layla now spends most of her days sleeping. 30-45 minutes after she wakes up, she is ready to lay down and sleep again. Is this God’s way of preparing me for all the quiet time that is coming soon? The house is quiet. I am able to go through the motions of laundry, dishes, cooking and picking up without interruptions. But I WANT interruptions. I WANT Layla to be under my feet asking for cookies. I WANT to hear her playing with her toys. I WANT to take 45 minutes to unload the dishwasher because she keeps trying to help. For every time I uttered the words “I just can’t get anything done with these kids under my feet all day” I am eternally regretful. The days that I looked forward to naptime so I could get a grocery list made, or finally fold all the piles of laundry…I regret those days too. If I could do it all again, I’d enjoy EVERY SINGLE WAKING MOMENT I had with her. I would never wish for her to sit still or take a nap or go to bed early. I would never look forward to the days when she could sit through an entire episode of Dora silently. I would treasure every second with her.

Wow. Now, when Harvey is having a "bad" day, when he skips nap and is a cranky mess, when he is all over the place and I can't seem to get anything done, when he needs me in the middle of the night, rather than being frustrated, I am so eternally grateful to have him here. That my arms are not empty, that I have been blessed with another day with my family. I'm sure I will still have my moments of frustration, but I pray I never look at life the same.

I'm working on priorities. Spending time with John and Harvey is far more important than spending time running errands, cleaning and organizing, and blogging. All of these things are good, but I'm now trying to find the balance between doing the things that have to be done, and spending time with the poeple I love the most in this world. I don't ever want to look back on this phase in life and regret not holding Harvey more often, wishing I had more adventures and quality time with John while we were still young. And I am certain I'll never look back on this life and wish I had spent more time on Facebook or Twitter.

So if I go a week or so without posting on here, just know we're out living life, making memories, and giving thanks for every precious moment we have. And don't worry, I'll come back. Harvey's too dang cute to keep to ourselves. :)