Batmans!

Harvey loves to request specific items, and then put an "s" on the end. For example, 'I want my Batmans pajamas". But in these pictures, it actually makes some sense. The Batmans (mens........boys.......mans.....). No matter what you call them, they're pretty darn cute (in my MOST humble opinion, of course).







You seein dis guy?? He's pretty cwazy, really.


Mom's so lame...........



It's all fun and games until...


Little brother starts touching your cars.....



And your pants.



Poor sweet, innocent little Charlie. He didn't mean to scare big brother off so he could have the chair and the photographer all to himself........

Or did he?



He just desperately needed you to see his two brand new teeth!!




I call dis one, "Bwue Steel".




Always so serious when the camera comes out. But so very smiley otherwise. So strange.


One more smile for the road!

Trains

Our boy loves trains. Seriously. loves. them. In the car, just running errands, he asks to drive over more train tracks (who doesn't love a nice big bump when driving?!). And he is genuinely super excited to just go over the tracks. It's the simple things, really.

Santa brought him a train table for Christmas. It has been the most exciting gift he's ever received. Thomas the Train and all of his friends, regular strength trains, cars, dinosaurs, airplanes---pretty much everything has had a turn on that table. He's spent hours creating and re-creating different scenarios. And everyone that walks in the door is asked (read:harassed) to "Come play train table??!!". Such a sweet obsession.


This past weekend, John thought it would be a fun family outing to go find some train tracks and let Harvey get out and explore. If nothing else, it would be good for us to all get out together and go for a ride (we hadn't all been out together since the beginning of December). We were able to do better than just an empty old boring track----we found a train pulling in for a stop!


Don't worry, we had the camera. :) I'm trying to make up for lost time here.













This was pretty much the highlight of his whole life to date. Now the plain old empty tracks aren't nearly as exciting. Still exciting, but he's pretty determined to find another "big train". We've set the bar pretty high I'm afraid.

Charlie Five Months

I somehow found the time and energy (and cooperation from Charlie) to get his 5 month photos taken on time! This was literally a 10 minute shoot, and it wore me out. I really need to get it together soon. Baby steps though. First a 10 minute photo shoot, then maybe a 10 minute walk. Maybe.


Here is what you all are really here for. Not my *super* inspiring talks about fitness, but photos of our sweet boys.






Note: His hands are ALWAYS in his mouth. His two bottom teeth are about to make an appearance. Hurry up already!



My favorite from the day. Love, love it.






See? Wasn't even kidding about those hands.



I wanted a really good photo of his chunky legs. I'm afraid this photo doesn't do them justice. There is a third roll on there, but in an effort to keep this rated PG, you can't see it. But trust me, it's there. Those legs are probably where he stores most of his 20+ pounds.



In several photos he was looking up or over to the side. This is what he was staring at:




And honestly I would keep an eye on him too if I was laying on the floor and that wild thing was literally running circles around me.


Charlie at five months:

We just recently really started in with food. He currently has 2 tbs of cereal with a 4 oz fruit at lunch, and then a 4oz veggie for dinner. And, obviously, bottles in between. Homeboy does not let you forget to feed him.

I can't decide which he's going to do first:, sit up or roll over. He wants to be in an upright position at all times, but can't get the hang of doing it himself. I'm convinced its his cheeks pulling him down. He attempts to roll over all the time, but that one arm is always on the way. Always a tricky thing.

He finalyl started sleeping through the night. Thank goodness!!


He is still having a hard time staying asleep with his arms unswaddled, so we continue to try to find new ways to force him to sleep. Trying to get a giant 20+ pounder swaddled is quite an ordeal. We just need to get him a big twin sheet and call it a day. :)

A Snow(ish) Day

Here are a few photos of Harvey in our first "snow" of the winter. Even he realized it was way too cold for the amount of snow of our little walk. He was begging/running to get home. Since when does he beg to go home??

He was pretty darn cute out there, I'll have to admit. Enjoy!

Charlie 4 Months

I'm baaaaaaaaaack kids!

But only for Charlie's four month stats. And only because he's going to be five months old one week from today. I know, what the heck is this kid doing, growing up so fast?!

I'm still having pretty killer headaches everyday, but I realized I could (and should) edit photos a little at a time and then blog. Because our adoring public is waiting! :) And because I have all of these sweet four month photos of Charlie taken by our friend Leigh while I was in the hospital. I remember on the 17th I was super sad because I knew it was Charlie's 4 month birthday and I wasn't going to be there to take my usual monthly photos of him. Once I was a little more together, John told me Leigh took his photos, on his calendar, on his actual birthday. How thoughtful is that?! So, so sweet. Thank you so much for these photos Leigh. We'll always look back on these and remember how awesome you were for not only taking the time out to take them, but for remembering our sweet little guy on his four month birthday. Thank you for doing exactly what this mama wanted to be doing with him on that day.

And here's a super good photo of our big boy, also taken by Leigh. You might just have a future as a photographer one day. :)



Charlie's official 4 month stats:

Height: 26.75 inches

Weight (drumroll please......): 20lbs

Head--17cm (at least I hope its cm!!)

Compared to Harvey: everything is pretty much the same, but he weighs 2 pounds more. In babyland, that's a ton! This kid has some crazy chunky thighs that I'm going to have to document soon. Ok, I need to rest my giant aching head. Until next month......:)

Sarah no longer has staples

Sarah and I went to see My Week With Marilyn last night. It was a wonderful movie. I've always been a fan of Marilyn Monroe, and the story contained in that film only made me more interested in her story, and her untimely murder.

After that we stopped in to Sonic for ice cream. We sat in the car and listened to The Goo Goo Dolls ("Black Balloon"), Ryan Adams ("Lucky Now"), The Police ("Wrapped Around Your Finger") and Snow Patrol ("Crack the Shutters"), courtesy of Lightning 100.

The simple things mean a lot more now.

We made an impromptu visit to Sarah's surgeon's nurse yesterday, and we are so glad we did. Sarah had her staples removed. The nurse told us Sarah is doing well and could slowly begin to act more like a "normal" person. This is far from an "all clear," but it is obviously a step in the right direction. In the meantime, we continue to be blown away by the love of family and friends. Life is progressing.

The enormity of our situation continues to hit me. I am slowly realizing what has happened since December 5, 2011.

Thank you for helping us stay on track.

John's Thoughts, 12/29/11

It has been 24 days since we learned Sarah had a brain tumor, 16 since it was removed and six since we left the hospital to return home. Sarah is doing well. Our mental and emotional processing continues.

On the morning of Tuesday, December 13, the day of Sarah's brain surgery, I was numb. I wasn't mad at anyone or anything - I was just trying to get by. I was trying to be brave. For Sarah. For myself. For our boys. For whoever needed it.

That was one of the hardest days of my life. Actually, the hardest. Other than the day we learned of the brain tumor, the day it was being dealt with is it.

Now I sit in our living room and talk with Sarah. We watch (partial) movies. We laugh. I tell her bits and pieces about the things she missed, and we both are continually amazed at how people love us.

"It is in the shelter of each other that the people live."

This is an old Irish proverb brought to my attention by the ridiculously-talented, extremely smart and abundantly compassionate band, Jars of Clay.

The response to our little situation continues to blow me away. A very difficult circumstance has been turned into a beautiful thing because of you. If you're reading this, you have some level of care for what is going on in our world, therefore, I'm including you.

I am glad I do not have to imagine going through this alone, and I am simultaneously heartbroken for those that do.

Please do all you can to love those closest to you more.

For whatever reason, our family has added the removal of a brain tumor to our resume. Though I do not appreciate its happening, I accept it, and will live with the following lyrics in mind, from Jars of Clay's song, "Run In The Night."

For I am such a man

Seized by the power of a great affection

No matter where I am

Peace spreads below me in every direction

When evil sets the war upon me

I won't stumble, I won't fall

Though they do their worst

Your love has found me first

For by you, I can run in the night

Hope for Sarah

During this unusual time in our lives, some friends have set up a donation page to help us get through. Thanks to all of you for your continued support. You can visit the page here.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas. You all are wonderful people. We are enjoying our Festivus Miracle and attempting to relax...

John's Thoughts, 12/22/11

Never in a million years did I think this would be us. Not at 29/30 years old. We've been through some interesting things, but surely it wouldn't get to brain tumor-type intensity. But everything has changed in the past two weeks. Everything. That's not to say life won't be "normal" again after a while, and/or that Sarah won't be fully functioning in the near future, but there is no way you walk away from a tumor in the middle of your brain, a successful removal surgery, an emergency surgery two days later and a shunt surgery the following week - and life not be entirely different.

It is said you gain wisdom just after you needed it. I certainly haven't gained all of the wisdom that is to come of this life-change, but my perspective on life has again been turned upside down, shaken, stirred, and tossed around a bit. To think that my beautiful wife, Sarah, would have had a tumor growing in the middle of her brain for years? Are you kidding me? And that we would find it the very same night following a conversation about how we just wanted 2012 to be a boring year, with no big changes to our world. And that it would come after we have welcomed two precious boys into creation? What. In. The. World?

We have spent 11 nights in the hospital since December 5. I have watched countless nurses and doctors come in and check on Sarah, on the hour, every hour, of every day. I have arranged, and rearranged, our hospital room furniture so we could live in the space provided us. I have bought a lot of coffee from the not-Starbucks coffee stand that has the Starbucks logo all over it that won't accept my Starbucks gift cards. I have been up and down what feels like most of the elevators Vandy has to offer, traversed its parking garages a few times over, and sat with many lovely people that have come by to visit or bring food and gifts.

Amid my exhaustion due to our situation, there is one thing I have learned a whole lot about these past two weeks: love.

Love from family.

Love from friends.

Love from nurses and doctors.

Love from co-workers.

Love from fellow church-goers.

Love from the man that married us.

Love from classmates.

Love from seemingly everyone we have ever known.

As for me, my love for Sarah.

Let me be very clear - this situation vehemently sucks. I hate this. There is not one thing I like about what has happened, and is happening, to us. I would not wish this on my worst enemy. This is not a fun time. This completely blows.

But no one promised any of us a life of total comfort and satisfaction. Who am I to think I am above the darkest and meanest this world has to offer? I am not. Sarah is not. None of us are.

It will be ok. In the midst of this confusion, it will be ok. It still sucks. But it will be ok.

Back to my love for Sarah. I'm just beginning to understand how Grandma loved Grandpa through seven years of alzheimer's, all the way to the very end. I'm just beginning to see how Mom loves Dad, and Dad loves Mom - and all of the other wonderful examples of stubborn, love-filled perseverance I have in my life.

When you go to bed having accepted you may lose your wife the following day, but then she makes it, something changes.

I hate that we are going through this, but for how it has positively impacted the love I have for someone I already loved, I may someday say it was all worth it. I'm not quite there on the latter, but the former is definitely true. My love for Sarah significantly began increasing at Summit Medical Center around 10:30 pm on Monday, December 5, 2011.

Love is all you need. It is all that really matters anyway.

Two little boys, a brain tumor and lots of love

Sarah had been having brain/head pains for a few weeks. After the memory foam pillows did nothing, she knew it was time to have it checked out. We made the necessary, last-minute arrangements at 9 pm to proceed to the nearest ER. Within 30 minutes of our arrival to Summit Medical Center, the doctor quickly came to our room with news that something was not right. A few hours later, we were in a Neuro ICU room at Vanderbilt University Medical Center.

Sarah had a tumor in the middle of her brain.

Questions, fears, tears, shock and endless thoughts filled our night. Where had this come from? I mean, our story has always been a little crazy: married nine months after meeting, child number one comes home the day before our one-year anniversary, child number two comes along three and a half years into marriage, I changed jobs six months ago, and we have moved three times in less than four years of marriage. But a brain tumor? Literally in the middle of Sarah's brain?

We spent another night at Vandy. We talked with the surgeon - Dr. Reid Thompson - an amazing man. We tried to get the word out. We learned that we would go home for a few days, then return the following Tuesday for a seven-plus hour open-brain surgery to remove the tumor.

You don't plan for this. You simply hope all goes well, and deal with the outcome.

The night before surgery, Sarah told me she had actually enjoyed the prior few days, because we were able to experience what most people never do, and a reaction that usually doesn't come until death. We had the honor of seeing just how much people love Sarah and our entire family. But especially Sarah.

Tuesday morning, December 13, 2011, 7:30 am in Nashville: some 30 people gather in the hospital lobby to support us through their presence, prayer, hugs, snacks, crossword puzzle books and yoga pants. All of those people...they were there for Sarah, for me, for Harvey, for Charlie. I was amazed.

From the lobby, I talked to Dr. Thompson on the phone around 3:30 that afternoon. He told me the surgery could not have gone better, and that he was quite certain they had removed all of the tumor. I was able to go to the recovery room a bit later to see my bride. That first image of her was a beautiful one. Seeing gorgeous Sarah resting after one of the most traumatic and invasive surgeries possible - there are no words to describe that sort of thankfulness.

It's currently a quiet Saturday afternoon here around the Neuro ICU at Vanderbilt, except for the occasional ding from one of Sarah's vital signs monitors (I'm convinced no one really knows why those things are dinging most of the time). As I sit here on this couch that has served as my bed for the past four nights, I am absolutely exhausted and simultaneously awestruck at the response from so many people over the past week and a half. Likely, you are one of those. Thank you. This would be an altogether different experience without the endless prayers, vibes, energies, thoughts, cards, hugs, tears and love coming our way.

As Sarah and I sit/lay here and try to prepare for what's next in life, please know that this is one of the hardest things we have ever dealt with. This is no fun. This is completely draining. This sucks.

But, it will be ok. Somehow, some way. We believe we are part of something far beyond us that hopefully is impacting many people for good.

As you read this, know that you are special. Know that you are important, and important to us. Know that we could not do this without you. Enjoy life. Enjoy your family and your friends. Do not take things for granted.

All Sarah wants to do right now is see and hold our precious little boys. Please join with me as we energetically await that moment. Please join with me as we wait for the fluid on Sarah's brain to drain off on its own. Please join with me as we adjust to a whole new life - one free of an unwelcome obstruction blocking the second most important part of Sarah's body, her brain.

It really is all about the heart, for without love, forget about it.

We love you, and we thank you for loving us.

Charlie Three Months

Now that our hunka hunka burnin' love is almost four months old, it's time to post his three month photos, don't you think? Here's our sweet Chugs at three months.






It's getting so hard to get the calendar AND the baby in these shots with my 50mm lens. Gotta move up for the next shoot!



And now for my favorite photos----this boy loves hats almost as much as big brother.









But look how sweet when he finally cools off! This is Charlie telling me how "gooooood" he is. I love this kid.






A few stats (and there aren't too many):

*I weighed him at home on his 3 month birthday and he was 17.2 pounds. Mercy!

*He still typically gets up 1 time in the night to eat. He goes to bed between 7:00-7:30pm and gets up for the day around 7:00. He's always been such a great sleeper!

*It looks like we're going to have another sweet blue eyed boy.

*He still has not mastered sucking his thumb. But, he sure does chew his hands all.the.time.