*Do your chores while kids are awake. Using up naptime to wash dishes or clean the bathroom is truly soul-crushing.
*Put Band-Aids on everything your kids want you to. Why not?
*Just throw away the poopy underwear (Amen and Amen!! That's what I've been saying for years. It's not worth scraping the poop off a pair of $.25 underwear).
*If the kids are awake, bite the bullet and be awake yourself. You'll waste so many hours trying futilely to extend early morning snoozes that it's not worth it. If you are sick, pregnant, or it's the middle of the night, ignore this advice.
*Know this: That stain won't come out. And it's ok. (The sooner you accept this the better).
*Teach them to pump on the swings ASAP!
*Answer this question: What is the worst thing that can happen if your kids sleep in their clothes?
*If your child falls asleep without brushing her teeth, don't wake her; baby teeth fall out eventually.
*Don't administer a punishment that hurts you more than it does them.
*Teach them to like cool music. Why suffer through The Wiggles when you could be enjoying Wilco or counting along with Feist?
*It's fine to brag about yourself to your kids. :)